In short, it was rough.
With new additions to wardrobe also came new additions to disappointment in the family aspect.. Everyone has a border of patience, I reached it. I also managed to let go of the amazing fear of doing something wrong or saying something back to absolutely nonsense insults towards housekeeping etc. I let my partner say what he had to say and it magically took all the fear away.
I also had a panic attack because my dog had dug three holes in the green house and I panicked about how that will turn into a huge argument again and how I will be in the middle of two sides fighting and having backhanded comments and so on and so forth.
We got a car. To which I am very grateful for, but scared if we will be able to handle it and pay for everything when time comes as these details were never discussed with me as the car owner before getting the car. Our life has definitely changed for around 170 degrees (it's still the same, just different).
We visit grandparents more often now, I think I have been at my grandparent's place more times in one month than I have been in half a year together. Which is great and makes me think more of how people really never grow up and we all stay in this high school mindset where after even reaching the age of 30 and 40 it's all the same shit. There is always someone who needs drama for no reason at all, someone who is always depressed, someone who is mad at world for how their past was. And it also makes me question will all of this that has happened in one month be worth it when the time comes and something special happens that will be missed or kept quiet about.
I am sad that a person needs help but absolutely does not want to change or receive the help or look for it. I am sad, that there are a lot of lies and mistrust between family members and close people; stubbornness and playing the victim.
I am very worried that this years Christmas might be very melancholic.
BUT I am already getting too excited for the first snow.
August has been a huge roller coaster! From very highs to very, very lows. A friend of mine got married after 4 years of being together (I think it was 4); another friend of mine is leaving in September to go to Italy.
I have had the chance to work on myself internally; I understand my wrongdoings when it comes to relationships and how easily I get riled up, so I am trying my best to stay calm and listen. Which led to a fantastic discussion today about sexuality and gender identity. It is getting better.
This post is more about me and less about how actually the month was and what I/we did, what happened this time.. I am thinking of making this a monthly video post, because time flies like crazy, I don't remember what happened in a week, two days ago, but when I sit down and talk about how the whole month was and write it all out, I remember a lot of things that disappeared from my mind.
August was crazy. This whole year is crazy, 2016, you cray-cray. So, this was a very short look-back.. Enjoy the september <3
